Christopher “Messiah” Nolan’s latest gift to humanity has just been received by the world and our entire species is all the better for it. To describe the plot in the wholly unworthy verbosity that the English language affords us would do a disservice to the indisputable, boner-inspiring verbal tangents given by those select performers who’ve been so lucky as to have been part of sometime that will no doubt be played on a loop in European history museums in the years to come, as soon as all those lame-brained finger paintings and old boring sculptures are taken down.

In light of this film getting released, I’ve heard some rumors that all the current members of the AMPAS are going to siltumlatenously commit sekkpuku out of shame for not giving The Chosen One a directing nod for Inception back in 2011. They shall then promptly be replaced by a younger, more hip crowd of individuals, who will convene once a year during commercial breaks of Hey Arnold reruns, so that they may give every single award of the evening to whatever brain droppings Nolan has been generous enough to share with us mere mortals.

It shall henceforth also be decreed that every major motion picture from now until the end of time shall have their musical scores composed by either Hans Zimmer, or one of his many similarly-styled pupils, such as Steve Jablonsky, Klaus Badelt, etc. So basically, how it already is now-a-days.

Thousands of years worth of human evolution and I think at long last, we’ve finally reached our peak as a species. This film might just have replaced sliced bread as the next greatest thing ever created. Us mere mortals are unworthy of such towering and immense intellect as that of CHRISTopher Nolan. Besides, only a director as forward thinking and awesometacular as NOLAN could come up with something as super cool and complicated as a wormhole inside of a dream inside of another dream inside a taco that’s in a Taco Bell in a KFC that’s in your dream! DUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN.


About Christian

College grad, film blogger, recovery coach, pasta lover.
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